Have a Better Life

Life has been good to me, I have both parents alive, I have a husband I love and that loves me a lot, two wonderful kids that drive me crazy but that I love more than anything in the world, I’ve got a full time job so, you might say, I have a wonderful life. Why don’t I have the same opinion? Am going having a depression or am I just an unsatisfied person?

Some of the points ‘m about to express were never mentioned on this blog, but having a better life includes personal life, personal issues and even private subjects (including sex).

Here are a few reasons why I’m not fully happy with my life and why I am struggling to go through with my daily life.

• I work full time in an office where I don’t want to be anymore. The environment is not the best, bosses are very demanding, besides regular work I have to take care of some of their private tasks (like buying cigars, but medication for them, pick up their wallet or coat they forgot in the car, etc.). This is not part of my job but I’m asked to do it, if I refuse I’m invited to leave the job. I must refer that I work there for 14,5 years.




• Due to my full time job I can’t pick up the kids at school, I can’t help them with their homework and this is really very upsetting to me.




• Blogging at home is complicated, the kids want me 100% and DH doesn’t make an effort to keep them busy or do some of the things they request me. I guess they all feel that my Laptop is a threat to them although my financial life in 2008 improved due to the money I earned online.




• At home I feel I’m needed 100% ALL the time and they make me feel guilty for wanting to spend some quiet time doing what I want. If I sit down in the couch to watch TV or used the computer I’m immediately interrupted by someone that wants something or just wants to speak. I feel like they are saying: you can’t sit down, we are here.




• When I have a little free time especially when the kids are in bed and for instance I want to watch a movie I’ve got DH stalking me for sex, if I say I want to watch this movie he gets upset because I’m not giving him attention. This subject maybe should be discussed in another type of blog but it is a part of my daily life.

The point here is that I barely have time for myself. Even when I’m able to stay up blogging or watching TV until 2am or 3am, when I go to bed I might be needed for my wife duties. Of course these all situation makes me sad, makes me lose interested in improving sexual life, creates a strange environment, a complicated relationship and I end up thinking: is this my fault? Should I give up doing what I like just to have sex every day? Is it a marital crises? (We started dating 19,5 years ago, married for 14,5).

You can say that sex is not everything, you can talk, you can hug, etc. and I say if I lie down in the couch with him immediately his hands want to go all over my body and most of time I just want to be closed to him and watch TV together. This situation makes me stay away from him; try to be in different couches, different rooms and this is not living.

Communication is tough to handle because he ends up saying that I don’t like anything, that I never want to have sex (if we had the night before), that all other things are more important than having sex and ends the conversation very quickly without wanting to talk any further and this has been a struggle that is getting worse. Before, we had what I called a regular sexual life but now he is insisting in doing many times and I don’t feel up to it.

I don’t talk about this subject with anyone so I don’t imagine how many times a week a couple makes love, but what I know is that I don’t want to feel pressured and having to make love just because he wants to.

Yesterday it happened again, we had made love the day before, I got very sick that day at night for other reasons but yesterday he was really to make love again and…I wasn’t. I told him that I don’t want to make love all the time but for him that’s like an offense. I know today we will be talking as we usually do, we are not one of those couples that stay days without speaking to each other, but the pain in inside me.

This situation upsets me, makes me very anxious, very nervous, I tend to cry a lot and I’m really tired. Am I depressed or am I just not handling things the right way?

Please don’t say that we need vacation…this is a daily life, something we have to deal everyday and it’s not two or three days away that are going to resolve the situation.

I would like to hear some personal opinions on how you handle this type of situation. If you feel more comfortable in sending me an email, it can be anonymous just email me at : soleflor at sapo dot pt. All input is welcome.

Year 2009 is here and it’s time to start the year with a positive way of looking at the problems. I think happiness should be one of the goals for 2009 therefore today I bring here 30 advices for a happier life.

Although I think I am a realistic person, most people say I am too pessimist therefore I usually give a lot of importance and feel real bad when I can’t achieve my goals. I really need to get a positive and healthier vision of my life because happiness depends on that.

I hope these tips are useful for you as they will be for me.

1. Search your own happiness
Keep the habits you like, think about things that make time fly.

2. Give value to what you are
Don’t look to what others have. Give value to what you have and to what you are.

3. Give value to what surrounds you
Give value to the people that make you feel good, to work, to your children, to health, to your home, etc..

4. Allow yourself to be happy
The unhappy people think in a way that they make themselves sad.

5. Take care of your friendships
You can always count with your best friends, to know about it makes things easier.

6. Don’t be a bad loser
You have to accept things as they are. You can’t be the best in everything.

7. Be coherent with your goals
If you like to be with your family, probably a job that requires travelling is not the best option.

8. Love and say it
Think about what your life would be without those you love. Now that you have them, tell them constantly how much you love them.

9. Moderate television time
In case you watch too much television, each day that goes by makes you want more material products.

10. Accept yourself as you are
Face failure as a isolated incident, not as a supreme truth.

11. Focus on a vital goal
Seven people out of ten don’t have a specific goal, they don’t feel the taste of life.

12. Positive thinking
Facing the uncertain, happy people have a positive thinking. This allow them to be better people.

13. Believe in yourself
If you believe in your capacities you will increase your satisfaction towards life.

14. Have realistic goals
People that have very high goals and that achieve them at a very high cost are not happier than those with more simple and practical goals.

15. Vary your interests
Having a variety of interests makes you get more benefits and in case one of them lets you down, the side back will be smaller.

16. Talk about feelings
People that share their feelings feel supported even when things don’t happen as expected.

17. Laugh out loud
Happiness is related to humor. Including in dramatic situations, we should laugh.

18. Eat well
A healthy diet will make you feel well, energetic and strong.

19. Sleep better
The quantity and quality of your sleep contributes to a positive mind.

20. Practice sports
This is an excellent way of getting rid of tensions.

21. Help others
Helping others will make you feel useful, you will see the meaning of your actions and you will be more motivated for life.

22. Eat Chocolate
Chocolate has ingredients that influence positively your emotions and state of mind.

23. Sleep a nap (if you can)
Besides being a therapy against stress, sleeping a nap makes your defenses stronger and improves body functions.

24. Listen to the silence
Silence is the necessary balsam that allows your body to be free of tension.

25. Get rid of some load (metaphorically speaking)
Having a load on your back makes you sum failures. You have to free yourself from any loads, heavy weights so that you can be able to fly again.

26. Enjoy music
Music fights any adverse state of mind and relieves you from stress.

27. Catch some sun
The sun light gives joy, increases your state of mind and gives you strength.

28. Reduce unnecessary items
Give your house a cleanup and get rid of unnecessary items that make you slave of them.

29. Enjoy nature
Nature gives you fresh air, relaxes and improves stress.

30. Fight bad postures
Adopt a positive posture when facing life. Put your back straight and lift your head.

Shopping with kids can be difficult at times but it can also be efficient and fun shopping expedition with children.

Depending on the age of the children, it might be critical to ensure the children are well rested at the start of the shopping trip and that the trip does not last so long that the child will be tired out before the end of the trip. This is very important especially in the case of young children who still take daily naps.

If you plan on Christmas shopping with a child who still takes daily naps, it might be worthwhile to plan your shopping trip after the child’s nap. This will make sure that the child has had sufficient rest and will not run out of energy or become cranky during the shopping trip as a result of exhaustion. It might be possible to plan a shopping trip for the time before a child’s nap if the child takes an afternoon late in the day but in this case care should be taken to end the Christmas shopping trip well before the regularly schedule nap time.

It is also important to take frequent breaks when Christmas shopping with a child. This is important because children categorically have short attention spans and are not likely to be able to be able to shop for hours on end without short diversions. A few examples of breaks which may be appropriate may include stopping for a small snack, taking a lunch break or visiting a play area in the mall or shopping center. Each of these breaks will give the child an opportunity to enjoy a break from the monotony of shopping and will also help to distract the child if they become frustrated with the shopping.

Christmas shopping with children can also be easier by incorporating activities appropriate for children into the schedule of the shopping trip. This may include visiting stores which may be attractive to the child. For example a trip to a toy store or a store which offers the opportunity to test out gadgets might be interesting for a child. It might even be worthwhile to promise the child a small toy as a reward for cooperating during the trip. This would be most effective if you schedule this trip for late in the shopping trip. This will help to ensure the child behaves for the majority of the trip. It will also help to make the remainder of the trip easier because the child will be interested in his new toy and too distracted to complain about visiting more stores.

Finally, it is important to be prepared for a variety of situations when Christmas shopping with kids. If your children are not yet potty trained, be sure to bring a supply of diapers and a change of clothes. Bringing along small toys and snacks is also helpful. The toys can be used to distract the child while standing in lines. Snacks will be helpful if the child complains of hunger or as a distraction if the child starts to become bored with the shopping trip.

I can say I’m a little more Green Living now.

Last weekend my DH bought energy saving lights for almost all rooms in the house. I say almost because the kitchen still has the old fluorescent light. It is a major change in the house environment, before I had yellowish rooms due to the old light bulbs and now I have white rooms.

The energy saving lights are very expensive but it was an investment and I’m happy with the result.

However energy saving lights have a disadvantage, as the room are brighter and really white, all the dirty spots on the walls are visible…so kids be careful with your hands on the wall!!

Although more expensive than regular lights (but cheaper than Ferrari parts), energy saving lights are a “must have” in every house. You end up saving energy, your electricity bill decreases and with the money you save you pay the investment you made when buying the lights and you keep saving every month.

Note: This is a cross post with my Family Blog – Laura’s Daily Life.

Usually I only use Christmas Lights on the Christmas Tree inside the house and leave the front yard free of lights as a way of saving money on electricity. But now there is the possibility to have the house all lighten up without spending a $ in electricity. How? Check these Solar Powered Christmas Lights. No outlet is needed, they are charged by the sun during the day and they turn on automatically when the sun goes down. This set has 60 lights and it’s 26′ foot length.

These type of lights help you save on your electricity account. If you haven’t done so yet, replace your indoor light with energy saving lights, don’t forget your emergency lights, they can also be eco-friend.

Be more “Green Living” and Have a Better Life!!

Do you expect that 2009 brings you good solutions for you to have a better life? That’s great. Having my own business or even a franchise business is in my thought to. In fact franchise is a great option. Usually the brand is already established and you just have to open your own space or work online. Now what are the fields that should be covered to a maximum business success?

I did a little research and I come up with these options:

#1 – Population is getting older and in a few years there will be many elderly needing help with the house and companionship. There are already many seniors living alone and in a near future there will be much more. Daycare centers and Home Senior Care are a good investment right now.

#2 – Kids related franchise. Kids are a priority, all parents want the best for their kids and those in the working force need help to take care of their children. Daycare centers, kid’s clothes stores and kid’s fitness programs are excellent options.

#3 – Tech support for moms and dads is nowadays an important role in parents’ life. How to use a computer, Internet and all the good stuff there is available to help them have a simple life is essential for every family. If you are trained about Home improvement, fitness, income tax preparation and others you won’t need to pay other people to do it for you.

These are the three franchise options that I think will have success.

What do you think? Any ideas about franchises that have good chances to be a success?

If you are tired of diets that don’t work than you should buy My Diva Diet: A Woman’s Last Diet Book by Christine Lakatos. This new approach is made by a personal fitness field expert and the book explains in a very practical and easy to understand language how to stay fit for a lifetime.

My Diva Diet: A Woman’s Last Diet Book Consists of Two Phases. From the MY DIVA DIET site here they are:

PHASE ONE—DIVA REDUCTION
Diva Reduction is a 10-week plan. If 10 weeks seems like a long time, start with three to six weeks to see what happens. Then adjust your diet and exercise program accordingly.

PHASE TWO – DIVA MAINTENANCE
The second phase of the MY DIVA DIET program transitions you to a healthy lifestyle. This phase ensures that you preserve what you have accomplished in the Diva Reduction Phase and helps you never gain those unwanted fat pounds again!

My Diva Diet is able to improve our health and if we stick with the program we can stay fit for life. Nutrition, experience and wholesome foods are a heavy presence on this book. Buy My Diva Diet Book and you won’t need to search for a fat burner review anymore.

Heep it natural, healthy and you will be able to Have a Better Life!!!